(The strawberries above are just incidental; needless to say, they are from the USA… but they represent the occasional distortions that occur in everyday life, the things we term “weird”.)
Several factors have kept me from my blog of recent days, among which my evening classes at chemistry have featured heavily. I seem to be experiencing every form of education in Quebec, including the continuing education, professional training programmes and adult education. If I, a thirty something “mature” student find the academic discipline difficult, struggle with motivation and performance anxiety, and even detest much of the homework, how much more so those students going through the difficult teen years! My sympathies to all!
It has been hard for me lately to retain an entirely positive outlook on life, especially with the pressures of class, keeping a household running and searching for work. Seeking employment is by itself stressful and bad for the morale, though it is interesting. Most stressful of all has been trying to manage the time efficiently between all of my various commitments. In my humble opinion, it’s possible to waste equally as much time in “time management” exercises as in a former, less organised state! Only too well do I recall the “miracle” time management books, organisers, seminars and business schemes which my former religious group were so into. Both in retrospect and at the time, these seemed little more than diversions to keep the minds of the members occupied with things other than the outside world. Their protection lies within having a super-organised system which both creates a dependency and effectively distracts the mind, while ensuring that stress levels and pressure keep those more active members from challenging the dogmas.
A very poorly organised learning system has made me fall behind with my course, that is also one reason for my lack of comments on this blog, as I read that to properly concentrate on studies, one has to abstract oneself as completely as possible from the everyday and anything which could potentially be a distraction: no internet, no music, phone shut off, desk cleared of all irrelevant material, in short, exam conditions… these have been helpful to me, as a very easily distracted individual. I have also noticed that my ability to study in a noisy, crowded environment has improved, as it forces concentration. Most stressful is the interruption by an open email page or the phone- or an individual who is asking irrelevant questions. I find it curious that I can now concentrate fairly well even in the noisy cafeteria at Dawson College, where music is piped from several sources and the students are far from quiet
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Many distractions certainly cause higher stress levels. It’s vital that I learn to control the effect of distractions before I become a full time nurse, as they could otherwise have disastrous consequences. On reflecting on the impact the internet has on my studies, I have to conclude that the illness recently diagnosed and named “infomania” can be a very real threat. The need to persistently check Facebook, email, internal college messaging, texts, even the answerphone, can certainly get a grip on one. Another threat to learning is the amount of time it is possible to waste on a completely fruitless use of a website such as YouTube. This is a double edged sword, as many useful videos are found within this type of site, explaining difficult concepts, showing practical results of theories etc… but also, a search can occupy a lot of time with absolutely no positive result. The internet, as with many other useful tools, can literally be as much of a hindrance as a help.
So, how to combat the stress and mismanagement of time? Spend less time on the internet, including blogging, try to allot time for each and every need, including relaxation, and to think positively about every choice I have made. Of course, the negative has to be considered, but it is still heavily outweighed by the positive: I am homesick, but on the other hand, I am always making a home here with the love of my life; I am finding the course difficult, but that is because we are covering concepts I have always found tough, and we are just arriving at the sections I have already covered; I am unemployed, but at the same time I am not unemployable, and results will reflect efforts. The balance sheet is still ending in black, so overall I believe the balance is there- I have to simply make the most of it!
I am actively planning on starting a proper website when I have found out if it would be better to run a server myself or to use hosting, this is key to my personal development. I don’t intend on going in for technology, merely on establishing my profile independently of common sources of web media so that I can stand out from the crowd a little more.
More will follow later, when I have another allotment of time for this blog, which I fully intend on continuing!
