Many things...

crowd in to make life complicated! "It is never good to try to tackle too many things at once..." fine words for a man who got married, left the church in which he was raised, emigrated and set up home in a different country, in the space of less than a year! It seems that cares and happenings always come in batches rather than being smoothly spaced throughout the year. Such is life, and the multitaskers among us are put to the test infrequently but intensely.

To resume the thread of my thoughts, which has been a little muddled and tangled due to happenings and predictable events too; last week was busy!

Wednesday was significant in that I finally managed to attend my interview for language evaluation; the whole interview was conducted in French, and I was asked to write a couple of short sample pieces to demonstrate written and grammatical French. The upshot was being rated as "intermediate and above" in French, which I found something of a surprise. It's my guess that I need confidence and practise far more than a general course in the language, and in daily life I do get some chances to speak it. Presently I am waiting to see if they will be able to fund my language courses, and if and when I can claim my employment insurance in the meantime. The interview was conducted in an awful building, which made quite a statement to me about the actual attitude of the minister for culture and integration! Thankfully it was en route to school, and as I completed the written assignment extremely rapidly, much to the delight of my interviewer, I had plenty of time to watch the football on the projector at school! This projection of the World Cup onto the wall in the dining hall was a master stroke, and proved to me that I am not the only one in Canada who is ignorant of football!

Wednesday was also marked by an earthquake, felt only as a minor tremor in our building, and many students did not even realise the nature of the vibrations. Some of the lab experiments were disrupted by the tremor, which had its epicentre somewhere in Ontario. Nearer the heart of the earthquake, more people panicked, and some office buildings were evacuated. My wife, in downtown Montreal only felt the vibrations, but work carried on as normal, as befits a government department! This happening could have been seen by some as an omen, but statistically, it was a fairly likely occurrence. We experienced one in Stamford in 2008, which damaged the plaster of my house there, and was much more violent, despite the house being on rock foundation.

Thursday was Quebec's "National" holiday, St Jean Baptiste. To other Canadians, it is a day they prefer to treat as normal, but there was no school and no work for most people in our vicinity. It was very like an English Bank Holiday, people calling at the depanneur for beer and cheap wine, barbecues on the balcony, and strange Quebec music playing in the public parks. It was also very hot, so we enjoyed being shut in with the air conditioning and taking time out from our schedules.

On Friday, we decided not to completely vegetate, and took the bus and Metro into Montreal city. As we often do, we took the opportunity to visit the Grande Bibliotheque, that amazing library which we find both rich in resources and frustrating in its inconsistency. I borrowed a few DVD movies, and books to read and fill the gaps in my "education" of JRR Tolkein. With plenty of time to spare, we decided to take a stroll along Ste Catherine in a direction we had neither of us explored before, heading Northwards. The street began to get more and more colourful, and we realised we had walked into the midst of the Village, the gay part of Montreal. Given my upbringing, I felt a certain instinctive caution, but the place was noticeable for its tolerance, and a very peaceful feeling. If this is what being gay has done for the world, then we need a lot more gay people to keep the world peaceful! We dined at the St Hubert, in true South Shore style, enjoying the excellent and unlimited coleslaw which is a famous feature of this restaurant chain with each of their meals. It was nice to see a "new" part of Montreal, especially on a comparatively quiet Friday, when most people had taken time off to make a four day weekend.

On Saturday, we finally got to achieve a dream, that of attending the annual firework championships which run every summer Saturday. These spectaculars are laid on by a different nation each weekend, and are a feature of Montreal life. Last year, we intended to see them, but the constraint of time and living in another person's house prevented us from ever following through with this. This year, with time to ourselves on the Sunday following, we were prepared to have a late night!

The International firework festivals are held on the island midway between Montreal and Longueuil, called La Ronde. They are fired almost on the doorstep of the amusement park, and though the park charges for admission, the general public has access to an amazing grandstand viewpoint: the Jacques Cartier bridge, which spans to the island of Montreal via La Ronde. The bridge is closed to traffic from about 9pm, cordonned off by multitudes of police at both ends, and Montrealers and South Shore people begin crowding on foot, onto the bridge. We caught a bus which brought us into Longueuil at 9pm, and already there were many people encamped on the tarmac and the bridge walls, waiting expectantly. The bridge gives fantastic views of the downtown, and is somewhere I wish to visit again soon for night shots of the city. We chose a neutral spot, and watched the scene, the boats on the river, the huge crowd advancing from the Montreal side, and the slightly threatening skies above. Poland was the nation to perform their best display, and for the first time. When the display started I began to feel a little underwhelmed, as it was not anything as spectacular as I had imagined; however, I did enjoy the experience immensely, as it was enormous fun scrambling for a viewpoint, being a part of such a huge crowd, and watching some beautiful pyrotechnics.

When the crowd dispersed, it was reminiscent of a disaster movie, and I expected Godzilla at any moment to rush the bridge and rip away a section of the crowded platform! We arrived back home without incident, and plan to attend this show much more frequently, weather and bus passes permitting.

Sunday morning was filled with TV, unusual for the both of us. First the Grand Prix of Spain (Euro Grand Prix, Valencia) was aired, and I found it a disappointment. Not having much faith in my countrymen's team, I was not especially surprised or disappointed when England failed to hold onto the football match against Germany. It seemed quite a foregone conclusion, even with the very poor decision by the referee to disallow a goal that was proven to be legitimate by the video evidence. I spent the rest of the day in revision for today's exams, as the weather was hot, humid and not pleasant for anything out of doors.

I am feeling emotional as I write this, having left the latest news until last; I had a message on Facebook this morning from a person in England, informing me that someone had drowned on Saturday. I was filled with disbelief, as the 24 year old man was someone who I had watched grow up, into a promising, happy and very nice young person, only to be cut short like this. To add to the tragedy, his uncle and aunt had both died during his lifetime, being cystic fibrosis sufferers. My first thought was "Why them, how much more tragedy can this family take?" I remembered also how close I came to drowning at that age, in a swimming hole near to Peterborough. As the young man is in the Sect I was once a member of, I doubt his relatives would be interested in contacting me, and I hope their faith will give them strength to get through this. He himself was a member as far as I know, at the time of his death, and I hope they derive comfort from that. I think the tragedy tapped into a well of emotion that I have had trouble releasing, and made me think of my own family and parents, who have never seemed so distant as now. Thankfully I have a wonderful woman as support and cheer to help me through life, and also many good friends who share a sympathetic ear in times like this. I don't feel alone, which is perhaps one of my greatest fears in life. I am learning too, of the comfort that animals bring as neutral, but observant companions which can sense our feelings and perhaps even respond more helpfully because they do not attempt to rationalise things which cannot be.

One man's rubbish...

I was led to muse on the matter of taste by seeing a frequent visitor in our back yard, rooting through the recycling bins as he often does on collection day; this made me ponder on several lines of thought. My first impression on seeing this man poking in the rubbish skip early one Sunday morning, was one of disgust; he arrived in a car, and to my mind to have enough money to afford a car surely means that people do not have to resort to digging in trash to augment their living? I was secretly hoping that he would be discouraged by accidentally bursting one of our sacks which contained the rejected cat litter or the bones of a chicken that had been there almost a week. The phenomenon of going through garbage cans can be seen in almost any place in the world, here in Quebec I would presume people are often searching for discarded drink cans, as there is a 5 cent deposit on each can. I find it difficult to see how people have so little personal pride that they resort to raiding the recycling bins; and in a sense it offended my sense of privacy.

Nobody in their right mind would throw personal data in the recycling without shredding it. This does not remove the fact that the recycling bins are somewhat personal, as they contain a cross section of the packaged goods which a household consumes during a week. I doubt market researchers resort to this kind of thing, but there is something almost as unpleasant to me seeing someone going through recently recycled items, as seeing a stranger exploring my clothing cupboard! Another side thought, surely the recycling becomes property of the company which is providing the bins, either the municipality or the disposal company. The general public is effectively stealing by removing anything from the bins after it has been discarded. I realise I am beginning to sound increasingly Meldrewian in this vein, but my gripe is over. Reflecting on this strange character this morning made me think of Noddy Boffin, the "golden dustman" of Dickensian fame. It is probably true that going through trash and recycling could result in discovering things which could bring down whole governments, start wars, and end careers, not to mention occasionally resulting in discoveries of amazing value.

All this musing brings to mind a piece of my past, not deliberately left behind, but rather lost in the events of life and the necessities of moving continent; my strange nack for turning cheap or cast off things into models or usable items, and a prediliction for hoarding. When I was at the height of "boredom" with the life I led, I invested considerable time searching for materials to replicate items in real life, for building models for my garden railways. This was an influence of my late friend Graham, whose life was tragically cut short by his long term alcohol abuse. In his lucid days, he was a great person and also a wonderful example of ingenuity; we scoured the charity stores together, mostly in search of small figurines in the toys section, which could be adapted with a little imagination into all kinds of dioramas and set pieces! I recall particularly the discovery of an evil, brutal looking Disney figurine which lent itself admirably to my "demon butcher", complete with a chopping motion of his arm and bloodied cleaver, powered by a discarded toy mechanism.

The modelling, the creating from scratch from so many discarded materials, was a hobby which I am missing a little... even when I was making many of these models, I technically did not have the time, because I "should have been attending church meetings", according to doctrine; model making was one of the few releases in an otherwise unbearably high-pressure life, and creating these microcosms was a comforting way of taking control and living vicariously in the lives of others, much as with my writing . Now would not be a good time to begin with this hobby again, both because hoarding junk and making finely detailed models is incompatible with having feline family members, but also because I am scared of becoming too absorbed in the models and not giving enough attention to those things which matter, such as keeping a clean home, having enough food, and earning a living. There is always a balance to be struck, and to do this I would need to allow a little hobby activity, and concentrate on that at times when I am bored. It is too easy to waste large amounts of time on the computer, and have nothing at the end to show for it... all these musings even, take more time than I can spare, but enable me to get my thoughts in order.



On an altogether different note, I am really pleased to have some green in our home at last! A very thoughtful gift from a distant penpal has grown, and for the first time in many years, I have a crop of cress almost ready for sandwich production! Of course, I could easily have bought the seeds locally, but sometimes we need our friends to sow the seeds of ideas in our brains- and also to give us a little push. With the success of the cress seeds fresh in my mind, I have in mind to grow some bean sprouts eventually. The choice of seeds in Canada is not too limited, although the general public does not take vegetable gardening at home very seriously. Today's is a quick-solution society, where people seem to have lost the patience to wait for seedlings to emerge, the patience to nurture and then enjoy the fruits of their labours! Of course this is not typical in every case, and I would not like to pigeonhole people- it seems that people do not even have time to peel and chop their own potatoes, according to a recent commercial, something I find rather sad. It is the same with food preperation; of course, some busy people do not find the time to make their own pizza dough or burger patties, but perhaps they are not aware how easy it is to freeze both these items and use them when there is less time; the added advantage of course being that one is totally aware of the contents of these foods!

Writing this has reminded me that I have a batch of pizza dough on the counter, just risen to perfection; I have already prepared the pineapple and ham for Sylvie's pizza (she prefers Hawaiian) and the bacon, tomato and sliced onion for my own, so we simply have to roll, top and bake them when supper time arrives. It feels wonderful to have a fully equipped kitchen, but also, to have an accommodating wife who is willing to allow her husband to take on a share of the cooking! I enjoy cooking, but not when trying to entertain at the same time, and hope that I will find more time and energy for the latter, when I have built up enough confidence and experience in the former! Now I must attend to the kitchen and attempt to discover the perfect Victoria Sponge cake!

In brief

Unusual words for me to use, I know! Today I have to face making or breaking my confidence in my mathematical ability, as I decided to finally sit the long-dreaded first Chemistry exam. Not only am I completely lacking in confidence that I have sufficiently learned the course material, I am very short of faith in the designers of the course book, particularly if those who have taken this course already are to be believed. It is always hard to motivate oneself for a distance learning, or individualised learning course, as my sixth form experience testifies, so I am not setting my self-expectations too high.

This last sentence raised a word which has been passing to and fro repeatedly in my mind: expectations. We are not born with them. How much are they conditioned in us by our upbringing, and how much are they a part of our growing process? I know that in my case, expectations have played a part in making me very unhappy; my parents' expectation that I would fulfil the role into which I was born, as a committed and devoted Christian was a constant source of conflict until I discovered that we have to set our own expectations in life. Also, the expectations I have had of other people, have contributed to discontent and unhappiness. It is probably a matter of taste, opinion and conjecture, people having "reasonable expectations": who is the arbiter of "reasonable"? Does this mean legally justifiable, conventional or simply traditional? In that case I have fallen far short of the "reasonable expectations" of those I was born among, but now that I have not set the same unrealistic target for myself, I feel much happier and more settled than ever before in my life. I am also very much happier for not setting my expectations of others too high. One cannot go through life, expecting people to react to our decisions in exactly the way we desire them to. One of my friends has a whole series of useful phrases which are proving invaluable in guiding my life and its decisions, without resorting to meaningless platitudes, and I am grateful to this and all of my friends for being just that- a reality check and a foil for my impetuous and sometimes prejudgmental nature.

This is a rambling post, and not with the pleasure of any illustrations, news etc; for that I don't apologise, as I have an examination on my mind. I need this outlet for my feelings, for the part of my brain that has to be suppressed while I attempt math to flex its muscle and thus relax. I hope that more newsworthy and interesting thoughts will follow shortly in a future post, perhaps even this evening, household and time conditions permitting!