A bad smell in the night and a hazy start to the week!

No, I don't have gas! The reason for the alarming smell of smoke which enveloped our apartment via the newly installed air conditioning at 2am, was the forest fires further North in the province, some of which have been burning all weekend. I feel vaguely guilty to be relieved that it was not our apartment block, but I am also relieved for the fact that the forests are thinly populated. It will no doubt impact the tourist season late in the month, and many people have been displaced by precautionary evacuation. Hopefully the wildlife will not be too impacted by the conditions.

Here there is little visible sign of the drama that is being enacted further to the North, except that the haze over the city is unusually dense, and the air smells unpleasantly of burning carpet... taking me back in my olfactory memory to living in a poorer suburb of Peterborough where house fires were a frequent occurrence. Asthsma alerts have been issued, and rain is eagerly anticipated to both cleanse the air and help put out the fires. If anyone believes that Canada is an ice-locked, wet and cold place to live, I would recommend visiting right now, while the above 30C temperatures and Australasian-style brush fires are bucking the stereotypical trend.

It was fortuitous that this weekend enabled me to install our second air conditioner, which combined with the smaller unit we have run for one week, makes our apartment tolerably cool at all times. I still feel a little nervous at the manner in which the units are secured in the sliding windows, although an analysis of the physics reveals that they are relatively safe; living on the third storey makes one conscious of the obligation to consider the safety of the residents below!

The schooling is becoming a little tough, and every student I speak with has confirmed that the Chemistry is impossible to complete in just one term, without a class led by a tutor. This means that I wish to try and find another college near enough to make study practical for the summer. Through all this, I'm eternally grateful that I have a loving and supportive wife who keeps her confidence in my ability to study even when I have lost it myself! One of my largest stumbling blocks in life has been to talk about, rather than actually pursue possible courses of action, and I am getting tired of so many unfulfilled plans. I am not a brilliant person, but can make a satisfactory result from almost anything I turn my hand to. That is why I want to secure a job as soon as I can, and contribute more to our home and life. It is too much to expect even from a dedicated wife like mine, to indefinitely fund all of our needs.

I have to cut short this post, a)because I am rambling off at a tangent and b) because our freshly shaven cats are a little on edge for a few days and I want to feed them before a full scale riot erupts.

So to all and any of my loyal readers, here`s to a good week from a smoggy and warm Montréal!

Renaissance, etc...

Spring is supposed to inspire a feeling of rebirth; I would have to agree with the great poets, as spring has coincided for me with the opening of new worlds and opportunities. Outwardly, the spring in Canada has been little different from that which I experienced in England, shortly before leaving the country of my birth. The picture above was taken during the penultimate walk with my "actives" walking group, a collection of people with whom I would spend every winter and spring Sunday, discovering the joys of being in the open air, appreciating the countryside and history of our region, and getting to know some great people. I feel nostalgic for these times, when I could temporarily forget the stress of trying to sell my house, plan emigration, and generally spend some time out of doors.

I feel nostalgic too, for the sight of spring lambs which are, for me, the greatest manifestation that a long winter is finally over. This wistfulness is not enough to be termed "regret", as it would be completely untruthful to pretend that I regret my move to Canada. With the move came opportunity, fulfilment of a dream, and the pleasure of meeting yet more people with a different outlook on life; rather, the nostalgia is a type of bittersweet pride, a desire to share the country of my birth with others now that I appreciate it more for being an expatriot.

I recently completed a self-set exercise in which I made up a "balance sheet" with four headings, namely:

The things I miss most about England
The things I was glad to leave behind
What I love about Canada, one year on
Which things I dislike about living here.

It could not be said that the balance was heavier in any one heading. Going through my brainstorm list, I was surprised how many things I could miss from England, many of them interrelated. I was also surprised that I could not find a larger list of things to like about Canada, until I reasoned that I have not as yet tried many things here! True, I accomplished more in the last year than I ever expected to, adding up to an intensive experience... a great road trip to an entirely different part of this vast country:

plus finding and working at two jobs, spending a lot of time getting to know the way of life here, working out how to do all the things which I had been denied in previous life, but some of which I was glad to be shielded from. I have a large bucket list, yet some of the things need a great deal more money than we have to dispose of at this juncture! We are still establishing our own place, not having many basics such as a microwave or dish washer, not to mention an air conditioning unit which will shortly be needed! The lists of key words which I came up with are very thought provoking, and I felt helped to define who I was, how I related to life both here and in England, and helped to give me a close look at what changes I should be making.

Life is a constant process of evaluation and re-evaluation. I never again want to become stuck in the rut that is believing "I can't change things so they will have to stay as they are until they change of their own accord". Some people are mortally afraid of change, and stay unhappy until they either learn to accept change with open hands, or shelter in some absurdly restrictive bubble, cut off from the outside world, from all that could help them to be a more complete person. It is this bubble protection which I believe is so hard for ex members of closed religious groups to burst, mostly through fear of change. They believe that they are changing or attempting to change the infalliable "word of God" from whichever dogmatic text they are taught, and that to question, alter or adjust this word is the greatest heresy... how hypocritical then, that these very religious organisations have to change perhaps not the "word" itself, but their official interpretation of it to survive in the current world! This very fact makes me believe that religion is like a very weak but addictive drug. As with an alcohol addiction, ringing the changes and drinking for example, whisky instead of beer, making the addict feel for a moment that he is not drinking the "same thing"- so is religion, in my opinion. Many churches believe that they are the only true church, many cult leaders believe that their personal vision is the only one which will bring salvation to the world... but taken abstractly, all the views add up to the same thing: a need to belong, to be a part of something.

Perhaps I am one of a breed of lone wolves, but how can this be true? I love people. I love helping people, getting to know people, understanding their thoughts, their dreams, their experiences and their problems. I could understand, if I was a true misanthrope, why I could leave a religious group without a qualm and very quickly adjust to the outside world, by simply distrusting everyone. Instead, I find that the more I discover about people, the more I want to learn. I am so relieved that my experiences do not appear to make me feel cynical about life. Yes, I like to complain, to the point where my wife draws indubitable parallels between myself and Victor Meldrew; yes, I like to occasionally "bash" something or other, such as the public transport system, youth's inability to stand in orderly queues, the wastage of food in this country; yes, I do like to admit there is a dark side to life, some of which is best not investigated; but by and large I am a happy person who likes to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. This came out in the balance sheet exercise: although I had more negative dislikes, the things I liked were weighted with far more significance than the things which I could do without. It was great fun to do the exercise, as it offered me a good comparison of life in the two countries, and also helped me to evaluate my own situation at this point.


1)What do I miss about England/Britain/Europe?

Cathedrals and churches * Cider * Scenic train trips Lightweight sports cars * affordable cheddar cheese * Country roads with hedgerows and dry stone walls * Sweets * the local pub * debit cards accepted everywhere * local Post Office * badgers * the Geordie accent * affordable real ale * Morrisons * Irish jokes, and people who understand them * Devonshire cream * Attractive postage stamps * Branston pickle * Hedgehogs * lamb curry * Cockneys * 240 Volt power tools * Lambs in the spring fields * Derby Sage cheese at Christmas * Sunday walking group * Bovril sold in a jar as a spread * Wilkinsons * Burghley house * Zoos * Stiles and cattle grids * Roman roads * Monster Munch * Heritage steam railways * Car boot sales * Second hand book stores * Chocolate without vanilla * free personal banking * Affordable cell phones and contracts * Cycle paths and traffic management


2)What do I NOT miss from the old country?

Racial segregation * London taxis * Greasy spoon/rat burger layby cafes * Terrible quality chicken * Fruit from the other side of the world * Caravans * Poor healthcare * High fuel prices * the M25 * over priced takeaways * employment agencies * council tax * frequent rain * dirty streets in the cities * high priced new technology * being on an island * crowded cities * senior schools * Gatso speed cameras * demise of photographic film * Boy racers * filthy trains * expensive booze * corrupt local governments * ancient public toilets * insularity of the people * late release of music and films * football hooligans * public drinking * roundabouts


3) What do I love about Montreal/ Canada?

Chez Cora breakfast restaurants- sans pareil! * Clear divisions between the seasons... winter IS winter! * Clean streets * Powerful sunshine * Cultural integration, not appeasement * Snow * Tim Hortons coffee houses * grain fed pork and chicken * Friendly population * Affordable and reliable public transport * excellent education and opportunity * Huge domestic appliances * Camping in serene and wild places * Raccoons * The tip culture * Choice of TV channels * Snails * cheap vehicles * positive outlook on life * choice of recreation activities * The Underground City, (shopping, eating... and just keeping warm!) * The metro system * Amazing national parks * responsible pet owners * Government that cares for citizens and new arrivals * the European accent on life style * chipmunks * Film still available for cameras * Cheap electronic consumer goods * excellent service in stores * Rona DIY centres * self effacing but proud people * financial stability and employment * absence of personal surveillance and respect of privacy * cities laid out in planned blocks * big, wide roads * courtesy and priority for pedestrians


4)What do I dislike about life here?

Huge, uneconomical vehicles * proximity to the USA * occasional reluctance to break down the language barrier * Huge distances between places * too much processed food products * Automatic cars * bureaucracy and complex paperwork * Debit card technology behind- cards not accepted in many places, even online * High salt and fat in the traditional diet * snow ploughing and blowing at 3am in winter * Banking charges * lack of cycle paths and facilities... rapidly improving * Pet stores selling puppy/kitten mill-raised animals * hideous tastes in music * availability of quality stationery and art materials * being told I have a cute “accent” * cost of cellphones and poor coverage * destruction of nature * casual attitude to food wastage * uninspiring architecture * being told I sound Australian * people who don't know what England is (football team, province, island in the Caribbean...?) * Obsession with hockey * high priced wine * laid back attitude to time keeping * Poor choice of clothing * distance from the beach * absence of motor sports * arrogant cops * antiquated deposit scheme for cans and bottles * casual attitude to drink driving and speeding * stop lines and strange priority rules on the road


I hope these words and comments will provoke comments from my readers! Life is full of variety, and yet there are not enough hours for all that there is to discover... nor are there enough hours in each day to discuss all those discoveries!

On a positive note...

I am always reluctant to use a blog as a place on which to post my negative feelings; in this world, there is already sufficient negativity for several milennia, and nobody likes to hear people raving about wholly negative subjects unless of course, they read the tabloids!

My most positive news is that I have finally started on the career path which I chose before coming to Canada. True, I have had to downgrade some of the ambitions; to become a nurse or nurse practitioner rather than a full MD is of necessity a reduction of my ambition. One has to go through life prepared to make these changes to plans, otherwise nothing would ever be achieved. There is nothing wrong with aiming higher than reality permits on occasion, because this way one can sometimes be surprised by what can be achieved!

The change to plan “A” was brought about by my being laid off from the call centre at which I was working. Having worked for over 900 hours and contributed to the employment insurance pool, I am able to draw on this rather than being totally dependant on my wife's salary, which is a huge relief. In the free time since the end of March, I have been able to prepare for advancing my grades to a level which will permit me to take a bachelor's degree in nursing and perhaps specialise still further while working. It is a long term plan, and one which I feel very confident I can stick with.

So what does this career choice mean in the shorter term? Basically my grades from my English schooling are fine, these can be converted by the immigration department here. The requirements for the nursing college, however demand that I sit my sciences again, as the grade has to be credited in the last five years, and my grades are more than 14 years old. We managed to locate a school nearby enough for me to travel by regular bus without crossing the river, and I duly registered for the term which started last week. It is a wonderful feeling to finally be a) doing something genuinely useful towards my career and learning again, and b) to be at school through choice and not because of state demands or conventionality.

I am of course, not familiar with the North American, Canadian or Quebec scholastic environment, so it was with some trepidation that I attended my first class last week. As the Access education centre is specifically a “continued” or adult education centre, it is thankfully free of many of the problems associated with a mainstream school. People in general are there to learn, some of them at their own expense, and are respectful of others. This was the impression I received at the first session, which was individualised learning of Chemistry; everyone had their own books, and worked through at different paces and stages, with recourse to a teacher where necessary. The session was deathly quiet without a teacher lecturing or explaining, and I greatly enjoyed it. Physical Science was a shared class, and here I experienced a great deal more deja vu back to my school days. The class ranged quite widely in age, and was taken by a teacher some 8 years my junior, who was in fact qualified in Gym instruction! Although the other students by and large respect the teacher, it is a very noisy class, hard to concentrate, and some of the pupils are in class merely because it is financially beneficial to them. That means that I experience a lot more frustration, as I have paid out of pocket for the books and materials, and hate my class time being wasted. I ended up taking the first session myself, as the tutor was coming down with bronchitis and could not talk, but I enjoyed the experience! Yet another strata of Canadian society revealed to me!

The school is in a nice suburb of the South Shore, which most people regard as strictly outside of Montréal. As I only have 18-20 hours' study per week, or classes rather, the commute is much more relaxed than while I was employed. I like the experience of meeting many more people, as the school is everything I missed out on while at high school myself; I am free to take part in the school board, debates, have my lunch with fellow students and to discuss careers with like-minded people, all of whom speak English well. I am discovering yet again that the “British accent”, that strange and elusive thing which I cannot myself observe, is a passport to people's interest. Some students are flabbergasted that I left England, which they regard as the acme of opportunity, to move to a colonial place such as Canada. It is long and complicated to go into my reasons, so I always bring up my main motive, that of love!

As I have no pictures of the school available, this entry will be strictly text, my photographic skills are somewhat on the back burner whilst I am trying to concentrate on getting the best possible grades. When I have these, I can then seek work, as the induction for the nursing college's autumn term begins next February, and I will have more than a year's gap in which to study French also. It is available at the Access centre, but I have to wait until September to take “new arrivals” integration French as a second language. It is an exciting prospect, and will help me no end to integrate and feel yet more of a part of this country.